Into the Light
by Dandelion Cat
Summary: During New Moon, Edward had left Bella and, while he was gone, she was turned into a vampire. What happens when they meet nearly 40 years later at their newest school? Will a lie from the past get in the way of true love?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

_How exhausting. Another new town, another new school, another new lie. One more day of my infinite life that I have to pretend that nothing is wrong. That I have to hide the pain that nearly cripples me._

_It has been nearly fourty years since Edward had left and still I mourn over his absence. I don't judge him for leaving; after all I had been a weak, pathetic human that was unworthy of his love. It hurts to even think of him, but my feelings for Edward refuse to be forgotten._

Already prepared to leave, I waited for it to be a reasonable time for me to head to my new high school. I couldn't arrive too early or it would inevitably bring unwanted attention that could spoil my cover, so I waited in my truck, reading a book to keep my mind occupied.

After waiting for several more hours, it was finally time to leave. I hopped out of the car and began walking at a human pace. It was annoying, but, since I lived in my truck, it would be a bad idea to drive it to school. I was really beginning to wish that I looked old enough to be able to buy myself a house without arousing suspicions.

* * *

The high school was exactly as I had expected it to be; small and worn, the paint fading from years of withstanding the elements. I walked slowly to the main office building to get my schedule, pondering at whether or not it was ironic that last night I had feasted on a large ram, which just so happened to be the school mascot.

Going into the office, I quickly spotted the attendant sitting behind her computer at the desk. I immediately put on a fake smile as I strode up to the counter, not wanting to frighten her. The woman looked up, having just noticed my presence, and smiled in response.

"What can I do for you?" She asked kindly.

"My name is Isabella Swan; I just transferred to this school and was hoping to pick up my schedule here."

"Oh, that's right. Could you wait a second? I'm pretty sure I just set your papers down somewhere only a little while ago," the attendant said as she riffled through the documents that covered the desk. I waited patiently as she moved through the papers at a slow, human speed.

"Here they are!" She exclaimed a while later, grabbing the papers from atop a stack of fliers and handing them to me. I glanced quickly at my schedule and absently noted that my first class was Ecology. The attendant then proceeded to take out a map and point out where all of my classes were.

I half listened as she went on, reading a flier for the school play Romeo and Juliet. When I was human I would have loved to go see the play, but now, whenever I think of Romeo and Juliet, my mind automatically flickers to Edward. Now my favorite story only brings me pain and misery. _It's amazing, how things change._

I quickly tuned back in to what the attendant was saying when it became apparent that she had realized that I wasn't paying attention. She pointed out where my sixth hour class would be and handed over the map and my schedule. I thanked her and walked out the door, my fake smile immediately fading once my back was to the office.

I got to my first hour in plenty of time, approaching my teacher and handing him a note from the attendant explaining that I was a transfer. He nodded for me to seat myself at an empty desk near the front of the room after he handed me a textbook. I sat down and began flipping through the pages. It was the exact same book I'd had at my last high school.

_How boring._

Then the teacher, Mr. Brown, called for everyone's attention and began the lesson.

* * *

**I'm really sorry if the first chapter wasn't extremely interesting, but the story should pick up in chapter two. Please Read and Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

_The cafeteria_, one of the worst and the best places in every school. The worst, because of the effect the awful stench and noise had on my heightened senses. The best, because it is the one place where my mind can rest without being allowed to wonder too far.

Finally, it was the time of day when the humans ate their lunch. I, having brought a lunch from home as a prop, began heading towards a vacant table near the back. I didn't pay attention to any of the children around me. I could tell that they were staring, and I could hear how loud conversations suddenly became scratchy whispers as I walked by. I was like a shiny new toy; of course they were all talking and staring at me.

I quietly put my lunch on the table and sat down. As I pulled several unappetizing items from the bag, I was glad that the students were uneasy enough to leave me alone for a while. It was more interesting to try to determine the personalities of those around me based on their normal conversations. It was so much more boring if they told me all about themselves. Why not make it a game?

I glanced around, looking for a challenge. Maybe a lemon in a bushel of apples, or a flower in a field of thorns?

Abruptly, I froze. A person was moving towards the table to my right, and he looked familiar; too familiar. My eyes widened in shock and I became unable to move.

As the teen came closer, I recognized the pale skin and the purple shadows under his eyes as that of a vampire. My panic worsened when I spotted the signature golden eyes of one that fed on animals.

I suddenly felt claustrophobic, like the walls were pressing closer, threatening to crush me. My breathing stopped. I felt the pain; they had left me, so why did they need to flaunt my eradication from their family in my face?

This person was definately _a Cullen_, and I knew him. Another jolt of pain flooded my mind and body.

Startling the people at the other table, I shoved my chair back roughly and spun around to leave.

Unfortunately, I wasn't quite fast enough. He caught my gaze and I could see a flash of recognition in his eyes . But I didn't wait - before he could react, I had walked swiftly out of the cafeteria.

To my relief, the hallway was empty, and I ran at an inhuman speed out of the building. It was difficult to not crush the door as I bolted through.

Once outside, I sank to the ground and rested my head against the side of the building. The Cullens were here and I needed to figure out what I was going to do. I didn't like the idea of being a coward and fleeing, but I knew I wasn't ready to face any of the Cullen family yet, and especially not _him_. I don't think my heart has healed to the point where I could stand before Edward without falling apart.

I was lucky; it hadn't been my Romeo who I'd seen in the lunchroom, but his brother, Jasper. Unsurprisingly, he looked exactly as I'd remembered him, unchanged by time.

I wasn't sure if I was strong enough to face the Cullens. Would I be able to recover if I tried to put my faith in them and they let me down?

_RIINNNGGGGGG!!_

I stood up at the sound of the bell, having decided that, as long as I didn't meet up with another vampire, I would go to the rest of my classes. I just prayed that I wouldn't

* * *

There may just be a God, because the remainder of the day went by without any more run-ins with figures from my past. For that I was extremely grateful.

The bell rung and I hopped out of my seat and headed towards the door. I had to stop at the main office building again before I could go home and I wanted to get it over with quickly.

Once more I was greeted by the attendant as I handed her several notes from my teachers, commenting on how well I was adjusting to my classes. She asked me a few questions about how my day had gone before I fed her an excuse so that she would cut the discusion short.

As I walked to my temorary home, I slowly began to feel the full effect of the confrontation with Jasper. The pain seemed to create a hole in my chest, and I felt like I had to wrap my arms around it to keep myself together. _There is definitely no way that I could face Edward when I couldn't even handle seeing Jasper._

I was preoccupied, wondering what I was going to do, when I finally entered the forest.

I instantly felt comforted and peaceful as the protection of the trees surrounded me. I could feel my muscles losing the tension that I hadn't even known was there. I took a deep breath; _I will be able to do this, I am stronger than I once was._

Little did I know that I was going to have to face my past a lot sooner than I would have predicted. Yet, for right now, I was running, feeling the exhilaration of my speed as I unconsciously tried to flee from the shadows of my past.

* * *

**Please review, it really helps to know what people think of my story!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Now please excuse me while I go cry in a corner.

Jasper's P.O.V.

_It couldn't really have been HER that I'd seen at lunch, could it? There's no way that she could be here, at my family's school, looking no different from the day we'd left! I mean, we never turned her into a vampire, so it doesn't seem possible!_

_Still, it won't hurt to check._

I knew that all new students had to go to the attendance office after their first few days of school, and I was sure that if the girl from the cafeteria really _was_ Bella, then she couldn't have been going to this school for more than a week. After all, someone from our family would have noticed her by now. So the first place I planned on going was to the office.

* * *

I walked into the tiny building feeling restless, my anxiety, over whether it was truly Bella that I'd seen, made me want to scream. Thankfully, I was able to get control over my emotions before they could affect the attendant.

As if I'd called her, she looked up and stared. I could almost immediately sense the waves of desire rolling off her, and I felt sick. How did they allow a person like this into a school, anyways? For a second, I contemplated leaving, but I had to know if Bella was really attending this school. _If it is her, then Edward will finally be happy again and I'll finally have my brother back, not to mention the girl that I consider a sister. This is too important for me to back out now!_

I walked up to the desk, plastering a smile to my face with some effort, "Hello, my name is Jasper Hale. I was wondering if a girl named Isabella happened to come in here recently."

"Swan?"

"Yes!" I was ecstatic; _it has to be he_r! I made an instant decision to try to draw out as much information from the attendant as I could. "Do you know where I could find her?"

"She came in here only a little while ago, but I'm sorry to say that I'm not sure where she'd be now."

I could tell that she wanted to help me, so I knew that I had received the extent of information she possessed. That in mind, I quickly turned and strode out of the office. I shuddered when I felt her displeasure at my departure, and quickly shut the door behind me.

After checking that no other human was near, I tried to use my sense of smell to figure out where Bella had gone. It wasn't until I neared the sidewalk that I finally picked up her scent. Now I was positive it was her; I could detect the sweet odor of a vampire blended into her original scent.

Having had picked up the trail, I briefly considered trying to get a hold of my family, all of whom had gone on a hunting trip without me since I had fed more recently. At the last moment I decided against it, remembering the fear on Bella's face when I'd seen her. _Could it be that she's afraid I'll hurt her? Did leaving her cause her to lose her trust in all of us?_ I was afraid to think that I was about to find out.

I began following Bella's scent, trying not to look conspicuous when I paused to find the trail; she seemed to have made a turn without me realizing it. _Damn, tracking is hard!_

"What are you doing, Jasper?" A feminine voice asked from behind, almost causing me to jump. I turned around to see Alice staring at me in amusement. _I should have known that she would have a vision and meet up with me,_ I scolded myself. To my surprise and embarrassment, Emmett was also with her, his shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter. It took a lot of control not to smack him on the head as I turned to speak with Alice.

"Bella's here."

"I know," she replied evenly. Despite her expressionless mask, I could feel her excitement and I knew how much finding Bella meant to her.

"Well let's go find her!" Emmett exclaimed impatiently. I rolled my eyes at him and followed after Alice, who had some experience in tracking and was already getting started.

* * *

It took a while; we couldn't use our vampire speed or we'd loose track of Bella's scent, but finally we ended up at an isolated section of forest. I was certain that she had to be in these woods somewhere and I began to get impatient.

"Tone it down Jasper, you're making me anxious." Alice complained. I did my best to comply, but I still couldn't help my eagerness to find Bella. I really wanted to see my sister again, almost as much as Alice and Emmett did.

A while later Alice let out a growl of frustration.

"There's no way I can follow Bella's trail in these woods, her scent is ALL OVER THE PLACE!!" Surprised by her irritation, I used my power to calm her and was rewarded with a smile of thanks. I smiled back at Alice and was about to pull her into a quick hug, when Emmett grabbed both of our wrists and began to drag us both along, his aura brimming with impatience.

"Whatever – we don't need our smell to locate her anyway! This place is small enough that we should find her in no time!" Emmett said enthusiastically. I let out a sigh, but I had to agree with him, if we spread out and searched, it wouldn't be long before one of us stumbled across her.

So we did just that; running through the trees, keeping each other just in sight as we searched for signs of Bella.

I could sense Emmett's frustration when we found no trace of her right away and couldn't help to feel a bit disappointed as well. I glanced over to see how Alice was coping.

All of a sudden Emmett darted to the side and stopped. I ran after him with Alice right behind me. As we came to a stop next to Emmett, Alice and I saw a clearing open up in front of us.

Nestled in the little field was a green truck that seemed to blend in with its surroundings. Sitting beside it was a picnic table, almost hidden in the tall grass. It was occupied by a single person – Bella.

_We've finally found her! _

**Just so you know, this isn't a Jasper x Bella story. As much as I love Jasper, Bella is meant to be with Edward. Now, please keep reading and remember to**** review!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: This is really getting annoying, so I'll say it one more time; I do not own Twilight!

Bella's P.O.V.

In an effort to prevent myself from thinking about the Cullens, I had my tiny mp3 player on at its highest volume as I did my Calculus homework. I had to say that, if it weren't for Calculus, I don't know how I would have survived this long. It was the perfect homework; challenging to the point where you can't think about anything else.

Unfortunately my distractions worked too well. I didn't even notice _them_ approaching until I looked up to plug some numbers into my calculator. Jasper, Emmett, and Alice; figures that seemed to walk straight out of my haunted past, were standing right in front of me.

My eyes grew wide with shock, and I jumped up, making sure to watch their every move. _How the hell did they find me!? _I was beginning to panic – I wasn't really to face them yet, it was too soon.

My body was tensed in nervous anticipation as I waited for the Cullens to make a move. Meanwhile, my mind was occupied as I tried to figure out a way for me to make my escape.

Alice was the first to stir; walking towards me with a bright smile on her face, her arms open to enclose me in a hug. And, as much as I wanted embrace the person who'd been my best friend as a human, I found myself backing up for every step she took. Her face reflected sadness and hurt from my retreat, but I was too wound up to respond.

Suddenly, Jasper darted forwards and grabbed Alice by the wrist. It took all of my control not to run for it right then. If any of them moved too quickly now, there was no way that I would be able to stop myself from taking off.

"Don't push it. She's completely terrified." Jasper warned her. I could tell that he knew that I'd heard him, and I knew why; he wanted to know why I was afraid.

_Why __**am**__ I so scared?_ I thought, unexpectedly. _Why does seeing the people that I used to love more than anything, make me tremble in fear? What have they done so far to deserve my distrust?_ Then, it came to me; _I was afraid that my heart would be broken again by the people I cared about the most. Though they hadn't said anything to hurt me, their departure had still betrayed my faith in them._

I felt guilty at the thought of not trusting my former friends, but I knew it was true. My confidence in my value to them was shattered, and I was afraid that if I started to trust them, they would leave me again and my heart would be reduced to nothing but emptiness.

Then, to all of our shock, Emmett ignored his brother's comment and swiftly strode towards me. I backed up quickly; not yet ready to allow any of the Cullens to come too close. My back suddenly hit the side of my truck and I panicked, bolting like a frightened animal towards the nearest escape.

"DON'T GO!!" I heard Alice scream after me as I entered the forest, but I couldn't stop.

For a few seconds, I could hear sounds of pursuit behind me, but then, without any warning, it stopped. Regardless, I sped up and kept running, not even caring where I might end up.

* * *

The sun was just beginning to rise when I finally stopped. I had somehow ended up in the mountains somewhere, but I was unsure as to even what mountain_ range _I was in. The only thing that I knew without a doubt was that there was no way I was going to school tomorrow; seeing the Cullens this soon would kill me for sure.

I let out a sigh and slumped back against a tree, feeling secure enough to let myself relax slightly._ What am I going to do now that I've just run away from Alice, Emmett, and Jasper? They probably hate me now for leaving them. I'm alone again. _

_**Alone**_ – the cruel word seemed to echo in my mind. Suddenly pain shot through me, making it impossible to breathe as I curled up into a ridged ball. Every part of my body was throbbing, all except my chest, which felt so hollow that I almost thought that if I looked, there would be a giant hole there. The ache was so great that I wanted to scream, but what was the point? _I was by myself, and would always be __**alone**__._

**Keep reading and please, please, please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Authors Note: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and/or alerted this story. ****Just wanted to let you know how grateful I am :) **

Edward's P.O.V.

I could hear Alice mentally screaming at herself as she, Jasper, and Emmett drew closer. I vaguely wondered what could make her so upset on a hunting trip. Noticing how entirely focused Jasper's mind was on soothing her, my curiosity grew. I tried to turn to Emmett's mind for answers, but all I could hear was the same haunted thought replaying over and over; _it's all my fault_.

_What could have possibly happened to make them act this way?_ I wondered. A second later Alice, Jasper, and Emmett appeared from among the trees.

I was surprised to notice that Jasper looked exasperated with both Alice and Emmett. _Why do I have to deal with both Emmett and Alice's emotions? It's not like I'm any less affected than they are!_ He thought angrily. It seemed weird, hearing him think such things; Jasper was never one to lose his temper.

Even stranger was, as they came closer, I noticed that some of their frustration was directed at me.

_What did I do?_ I wondered. I knew that my brooding often upset my family, but they seemed more accusatory than annoyed with me right now.

_Edward._ My attention turned to Alice as she called for me in her mind. I looked at her expectantly, and became frustrated as she suddenly blocked her thoughts.

I listened harder, but could only get little pieces of what she was thinking. I managed to puzzle out that she wanted to tell me something, but was unsure as to how to say it.

I didn't see what she could be so worried about; it wasn't like I really cared about what was going on around me anymore. Without Bella in my life, I was like an empty shell. It seemed like too much effort to even breathe without her. The only reason I was still carrying on with my life was for my family. I knew how much it would hurt them if I ended my life. _So why is Alice hesitating to tell me what was going on? What does she have to say that could possibly have any effect on me?_ I pondered.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I completely forgot about Emmett and Jasper. As all three of my siblings came to stand around me, I realized that they had formed an inescapable barrier with me at its center.

I was beginning to get anxious. _What do they have to say that is making them act like this?_

Emmett was the first one to speak, his apparent anguish suddenly being replaced by excitement.

"We found her! We found Bella!!"

Suddenly – everything seemed distant and unfocused. The world seemed to be standing still, and yet spinning so fast that I could hardly keep up. It couldn't be true! Bella was dead; Charlie had said so himself!

_Flashback:_

_Alice was standing at the front door of Bella's house. She had volunteered to check in to see how Bella was doing to put my mind at ease, due to my constant fretting over her safety. _

_I was standing out of sight among the trees next to the house as Alice knocked on the door. After a long moment, it swung open to reveal Charlie._

_When I saw him, I was shocked by his appearance. Charlie's face was grey and worn; all traces of life seeming to have vanished from his figure. Dark purple bruises shadowed his eyes and his cheekbones jutted out from his skin. His eyes scarcely flashed in recognition as he noticed Alice, before they hazed over once more._

"_Charlie, are you alright?" Alice asked in concern, "Where is Bella, shouldn't she be taking care of you?"_

"_Bella . . . Bella is dead." Charlie whispered brokenly. _

_And the moment his statement sunk in, my world fell apart._

_Flashback ended._

"LIARS!!" I heard someone scream. With a start, I realized that I was the one who was shouting in agony.

I could hear a mixture of my siblings' thoughts and words, telling me to calm myself and begging for me to believe in what they said was the truth. I could feel the drowsiness that Jasper was trying use to quiet my raging emotions, but they were too strong for even his gift to control.

I just couldn't believe it; _why would they lie to me about Bella's death? What purpose did they think it would serve other than make me miserable?_

Suddenly, I was pinned to the ground by Jasper and Emmett and, as I struggled to move, I was bombarded by Emmett's memories of seeing Bella this afternoon.

_Bella doing her homework. _

_Bella's expression of fear and distrust as she backed away from Alice. _

_Bella running, not even faltering as Alice cried for her to stop._

Alice and Jasper's own memories were mixed in as well, each telling the exact same story. After a while, I began to realize that what they said was the truth; _Bella is alive._

I stopped struggling, and, with Jasper's help, my emotions were brought back under control. And, as the anger and sadness melted away, a sensation that I hadn't felt in nearly fourty years began to overcome me – joy.

_At long last, I would be reunited with my beloved Bella!_

_..._

**Silence is NOT golden! Please review, I really need the inspiration to write faster!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Author's Note: Wow! I left for an hour to go shopping after I posted Chapter 5 and the number of hits had doubled to over 2200 and I got 15 more reviews!

Thanks everyone!

Edward's P.O.V.

My impatience was beginning to get the best of me.

Jasper had explained what had happened when he, Alice, and Emmett had confronted Bella. I was horrified when I realized that she had lost her trust in us, and all because of me. I wanted nothing more right now than to hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her.

Still, I was surprised when I found out that Bella was now a vampire. It irked me that I didn't know who had changed her. The only vampires that she had met in person, other than my family, were Victoria and Laurent, and it was unlikely that either of them had made her a vampire. I couldn't think of anyone who would change Bella and it only added to my curiosity.

We were currently following Bella's scent through the Cascades, and the fact that she would run so far seemed ominous. The going was slow, since none of us were really good at tracking, and I could hear Alice grumbling with frustration in her thoughts.

I laughed when Jasper used his power to make her calmer and she mentally began plan ways to get her revenge for being manipulated by him. In response to my laughter, all of my family turned to stare at me. I was confused by their expressions until it hit me; it was the first time I'd laughed in nearly fourty years.

Without warning, Bella's scent grew stronger, and I ran faster, desperate to find her as quickly as possible. I could tell by their thoughts that Alice, Jasper, and Emmett had smelled it too as they rushed to catch up.

Suddenly – I stopped, my eyes growing wide in alarm. I hardly noticed Emmett, Jasper, and Alice coming to a stop next to me until I heard Alice gasp in shock.

The destruction before us looked like it had been made by a tornado, but I knew that it was not so. Bella's scent was all over the place, growing strongest at the heart of the damage.

Trees were split in half, boulders were shattered into thousands of tiny pieces, and the imprint of a fist could be seen in the base of a large hole in the ground. Vegetation had been ripped up and thrown haphazardly, the plants varying from flowers to full-grown trees.

In his thoughts, Emmett was wondering if there had been some sort of battle. I shook my head in response; the only scent in the area was Bella's, and this was a product of her wrath.

As I walked through the wreckage, I wondered what had driven my Bella to such extremes. _Was it hatred, fear, anger, or was it some other emotion that caused her to wreak such destruction? Is it our fault that she was upset enough to destroy part of the forest?_

It tormented me to think that our presence was most likely the catalyst that started this reaction. I almost wanted to break something as guilt began to consume me.

Without warning, a flood of calmness washed over me, and I knew instantly that it was Jasper's doing. Instead of being grateful, as he had expected, I felt a sudden burst of resentment and let out a rebellious roar, punching the nearest tree and snapping it in half.

Jasper and Alice both looked shocked, but surprisingly, Emmett had a different reaction to my outburst – fury.

He threw himself at me and though I fought back, his strength greatly overshadowed my own, and I found myself pinned to the ground. I yowled and lashed out like a wildcat, but I couldn't free myself of Emmett's grasp. Meanwhile, he cursed me for my ungratefulness and shook me roughly.

Then, time seemed to slow as Emmett drew back his arm and punched my face with his fist, causing the back of my head to slam against the ground.

I was shocked, and I could tell that Emmett was too; he had never struck me out of anger before.

He quickly released me and stood up, but I was too stunned to move. It wasn't until Alice walked over to where I lay and helped me up, that I was able to get to my feet.

"Edward, I –"

"Don't Emmett. I shouldn't have gotten so upset when Jasper was only trying to help." I admitted. I could tell by his thoughts that he felt bad about hitting me, but I knew that I'd deserved it.

"But I still shouldn't have –"

"Hush!" Jasper hissed suddenly, "Do you hear that? Something is moving nearby!"

Immediately, all of us were on alert. Sure enough, our enhanced hearing was able to pick up the slightest sound of leaves rustling somewhere far off.

I eavesdropped on Alice's thoughts as she tried to use her visions to figure out what the source of the noise was. Strangely though, she wasn't able to see anything.

I was surprised; usually Alice's visions were able to see these kinds of things, even if it was just an animal. But as I thought about it, I knew that this confirmed our suspicions; whoever was making that noise was a vampire, and the only vampire in this area, besides our family, was Bella.

Instantly, I was running towards the source – _it has to be her!_

I realized that my quick start seemed to have surprised my family after I noticed that their footsteps were quite a distance behind me, but I didn't care; nothing mattered except for finding Bella.

I ducked under branches and maneuvered around trees until I came to a small river. Too excited to stop and look for a way to get to the other side, I ran downstream until I found a fallen tree stretched across the river that wide enough to run on.

Jumping onto the log, I hardly slowed as I darted just above the fast-moving water. Leaping the last couple feet to shore – I stopped. I had suddenly become aware that the rustling sound of footsteps had completely deceased.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my senses, and it was as if a dam had been released in my mind. Sounds around me were crisper and the world took on a sharper appearance. I could make out the sounds of every individual footstep taken by each member of my family.

It was then that I heard it – the faintest sound of footsteps coming from in front of me. I looked up, but was not able to make out a human form through the densely-packed trees.

Walking forward, guided solely by my instincts, I made my way through the woods at a swift pace.

To my surprise I came out at a small beach and I looked around at my surroundings.

The crystal blue water of the lake perfectly accented the colorful stones, creating an atmosphere of utmost splendor. But, even more beautiful was the angel.

Her brown hair blew gracefully in the wind as her golden eyes watched my every move. She stood at the waters edge, her bare feet caressed by the gentle waves.

I started to make my way towards her, but something made me stop.

And then I realized what it was – her eyes were fearful and mistrusting, and I could tell that the next wrong move I made would send Bella running, and she wouldn't turn back.

...

**I spent a LOT of time writing this, so please make the effort to write a review!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_Author's Note:_ Thank you to everyone who has reviewed/ alerted/ or favorited this story! You guys are amazing!

Bella's P.O.V.

_I knew that they were coming. _

Yet for some reason I didn't flee.

My mind screamed for me to run away as fast as I could, but my body didn't respond.

So I stayed, standing at the edge of the lake I'd discovered – waiting.

I could hear the soft whooshing sound of their bodies slicing through the stagnant air, coming closer. A startled animal – most likely a squirrel – could be heard scrambling up a tree as it sensed the vampires' approach.

As I listened to the quiet thud of their footsteps, I suddenly realized that there was a fourth person in the group.

My resolve began to crumble, and the urge to run grew ever stronger.

_Could it be Edward?_

I was surprised when I managed to stand my ground, but I knew that my tolerance wouldn't last for very long.

As I continued to listen, I became aware that one set of feet was closer than all the others. With a dreading suspicion, I waited for them to make their appearance from the brush.

Without warning – the closest set of feet slowed to a walk. It was then that I noticed that it the sound of the others had completely disappeared. _They must have stopped._ I realized.

Then, my eyes grew wide as a figure emerged from among the trees.

His bronze hair was in casual disarray, just as I'd remembered, and I longed to run my hands through the silky locks. He moved with a familiar grace as he walked towards me. But, despite all of this, the things that held my gaze spellbound were his eyes. The color of liquid topaz, they seemed to portray different emotions all at once; joy, love, relief, and sadness. As I watched him, he took a few steps closer.

For a fleeting instant, the pain was gone, replaced by a happiness that seemed strange and foreign. Edward was here with me, and that was all that mattered.

Then, just as abruptly, every trace of ecstasy within me shattered. Memories of Edward leaving flooded my mind. _"I don't want you to come with me." "You're not good for me, Bella."_

Unconsciously, my arm came up to wrap itself around my midsection, holding me together. I started to hyperventilate, gasping for air that I didn't actually need. My body began to shake, and I stared at the man whose love was beyond my grasp.

_Why? Why did he have to pretend that he loved me? What would prompt him to play such a cruel trick? _I just couldn't think of an answer.

"Bella." Edward called in a soft voice. My mind snapped into focus and I watched him wearily. My entire being was braced to run at the slightest provocation.

With my hyper-aware senses, I was easily able to pick up the sounds of the other three moving through the forest. They were moving at a walk and I realized that they were purposely making their footsteps loud and easy to hear.

_They must not want to startle me._ I thought, feeling slightly embarrassed at being treated like a frightened child.

Alice was the first to appear, her eyes instantly darting between Edward and me. Her face showed relief, but quickly changed to disappointment. Her expression confused me, _what is there to be disappointed about?_

Behind her came Jasper, who was soon followed by Emmett. They took their places next to Alice, who had stopped several feet behind Edward. I noticed that Emmett stayed farther back than Alice and Jasper, looking at me sheepishly.

I took a couple of steps back at their arrival, the water splashing noisily as I moved.

I was in a bad position. Edward could outrun me, Emmett could overpower me, Jasper could sedate my emotions, and Alice could predict my every move. I wasn't sure if escaping was even possible at this rate.

Edward moved forward, taking me by surprise, and I shifted deeper into my crouch, ready to flee in an instant's notice.

He ignored my actions and continued to walk towards me with slow, measured movements.

My feet felt like they were burning; the need to run was so great. And yet I stood there, for I was completely captivated by the power of Edward's eyes. The emotion in them was incredibly strong, but I had trouble comprehending the love and tenderness that they held.

Soon Edward was mere feet from where I was standing, and I hadn't moved an inch.

"Bella." He whispered softly.

I was so close to him that every breath I took was overflowing with his sweet-smelling scent. I wanted, even if only for a second, to be with him; my other half.

_All of a sudden, Edwards's expression changed to a cruel sneer._

"_I don't love you!" He hissed scathingly. _

My body locked up and my eyes scrunched closed, as though I'd received a blow to the stomach. Without warning, my knees gave way and I fell to the ground.

I clasped my head and screamed. "STOP HURTING ME!!"

I didn't notice the blue energy that seeped from my body to form a protective dome. With my eyes closed, I couldn't see it expand, hitting Edward and throwing him through the air. I hardly heard the sound of his body hitting the ground and sliding to a stop at his siblings' feet.

All was still for a moment, and I remained huddled on the ground, shaking harshly. The blue aura around me dissipated, so that, by the time I looked up, it had nearly disappeared.

I risked a glance at the Cullens and took in their expressions. They all looked shocked and slightly awed, but what surprised me the most was Edward. His eyes showed his bewilderment and hurt, and I suddenly became confused.

"Do you really think I'd try to hurt you?" Edward asked in a voice overflowing with pain.

"Why wouldn't you?" I responded quietly, "It's not like you care about me."

Edward seemed taken aback, and then his face flooded with hurt and regret. Despite everything, I hated seeing him like this.

"That's not true." He whispered, "Bella – I love you so much. Life means so little without you by my side. You are the very core of my existence, and I can't stand to be away from you any longer."

I shook my head, unable to believe what he was saying. But, regardless of my doubts, a tiny seed of hope was beginning to take root in my deadened heart.

I remained weary as I watched Edward get up and move to stand between Alice and Emmett. He caught Jasper's eye and seemed to have a conversation with him in his mind.

All was quiet for a moment, and then I saw Edward nod in response to something Jasper said in his thoughts. A second later Alice dipped her head slightly in silent agreement.

Suddenly, all of the Cullens were running; taking action in a way I'd never expected.

...

**If you can read, then you can write (or at least I think so), so please write a review! **


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_Yay! I've finally gotten over 100 reviews! Thanks everyone!_

**Important Author's Note:** _I've changed the story so that it is only 40 years in the future so that the technology will be more realistic._

Edward's P.O.V.

I could hear Jasper worrying about Bella as her panic continued to grow. His concern was beginning to make me fret, and I wondered whether we were right in our method of approach.

My frantic musings were suddenly interrupted when Jasper called for me in his thoughts. I turned my head to glance at him to let him know that I was listening.

_Maybe we should withdraw, just to give Bella some time to calm down. _Jasper thought,_ I can tell that beneath her apprehension she wants to join us, so there's no reason to pressure her._

My first reaction was shock; _there's no way I'm going to leave Bella now! _AndI glared at Jasper for even suggesting abandoning her.

But, as I thought about what he'd said, I realized that he was right; trust wouldn't be made by using force. And, as I looked at Bella, I knew we weren't going to get anywhere fast. Her body trembled as she stared at us with wide, terrified eyes. Hints of blue energy gave her skin an eerie glow.

Still, it hurt to know that I would have to leave Bella behind. I didn't feel like I could wait much longer to reclaim her as my own.

With much regret, I made up my mind and signaled to Jasper.

_You're doing the right thing,_ he thought soothingly, and I knew that he could sense my reluctance.

It took only a moment for Alice to see the plan in her visions. She nodded her head in agreement, and, using my power, I saw that Emmett had realized that something was about to happen.

With that, I spun on my heel and ran at top speed towards the trees. I could hear the others following me and was grateful for their support. Retreating wouldn't work if someone decided to stay behind.

_Hey wait up! _I heard Emmett call, but I didn't slow – I knew that if I stopped now, I would never be able to leave.

But for some reason, I couldn't help myself – I glanced back to take one last look at Bella before she disappeared from sight.

Her expression was filled with relief, but I was surprised to notice the amount of hurt that clouded her features. She lurched unsteadily to her feet, and – for a second – I thought that she was going to run after us. But, to my disappointment, Bella merely stood there and watched as we sped further and further away.

And, suddenly, I was engulfed by the forest's vegetation. I ran on – fearful that any hesitation would cause me to run back to her – and longing to do just that.

I could feel Jasper tampering with my emotions – trying to calm me – and I became irrationally resentful of his sympathy. Alice and Emmett's pity didn't help in the least.

_Edward, slow down. You'll be no help if you start acting rashly. _Alice ordered sternly. I let out a muted snarl, but complied. The rest of my family caught up quickly and kept pace alongside me.

After a brief moment of silence, I finally asked Alice the question that had been bothering me since Bella was out of sight, dreading the answer. "Do you see Bella following us?"

Alice hesitated before answering. "I can't really tell."

"What do you mean, you can't tell?" I asked, frustrated.

"I mean that she hasn't really made up her mind!" Alice responded in an annoyed voice, "Sometimes I see her following us, and other times I don't see anything at all!"

I backed off at her tone, but was somewhat relieved to know that she might decide to follow us; it was far too soon for us to be separated. But as I thought about Bella, I could feel myself falling prey to depression once more.

Meanwhile, I could hear Jasper mentally mulling over what Alice had said. "I wonder if the holes in your visions have something to do with her powers." He speculated out loud.

"Maybe, but then why is Alice _able_ to see some of what she's going to do?" Emmett contradicted.

"I don't know –" Alice admitted, "– but I think that there might be a pattern to what I am able to see."

"And what would that be?" Emmett asked irritably, he was fuming in his mind about not being able to figure out a connection himself.

"So far I have only been able to see her interacting with our family. Whenever she made a decision that didn't involve us, I couldn't see anything. I'm not sure if I'm actually right, but at least it's an idea."

I nodded, silently agreeing with Alice as we continued onwards.

………………………………………………………………………………………

We were still running, and each step seemed to jar my aching heart. _I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave her again. I don't want to go back into the dark!_

Finally I couldn't bring myself to follow Emmett, Alice, and Jasper back home – and I stopped. Some part of me was saying that if I left now, then it would be like abandoning Bella again. _And that might be exactly how she'd see it. Another betrayal, another reason not to trust us._

I wasn't surprised when the others noticed my absence and came back for me.

"What are you doing Edward?" Emmett demanded. I could tell that he was confused and more than a little frustrated.

"I'm staying"

"What are you talking about? Why would you stay when you were the one who decided that we should give Bella space?" He questioned crossly.

"Because. . . . . I want her to be able to see that she's not alone anymore. . ."

They all stared at me, their expressions surprised from what I'd said.

Suddenly Alice smiled and turned around, grabbing Jasper and Emmett's arms and dragging them with her. "We understand. Just do what you think is right."

I smiled at her retreating form gratefully. "Thanks."

I watched as they disappeared into the woods and out of sight. Then, when they were gone, I turned around and headed back the way I'd come.

……………………………………………………………………………………

I walked through the dense underbrush with my destination in mind. I didn't even bother rushing; I knew that I would have a while to wait.

I wasn't going to chase Bella down. I had made my decision; I was going to let her make her own choice – and all I would do is be there for her if she wanted me.

**Review! It's what I write for! **


	9. Chapter 9

Special Disclaimer: Every chapter from chapter 1 to chapter 8 was written prior to 6/19/08. Therefore, they were written before Breaking Dawn was published and the Shield in my story was actually an original. Unfortunately, the characters and such do belong to Stephanie Meyer.

Author's Note: Sorry this took so long! Please enjoy (and review afterwards)!

* * *

Bella's P.O.V.

"_Bella – I love you."_

His words kept replaying in my head, like a mantra. I didn't know what to believe. How could he love me when he'd been gone for so long?

I drifted thoughtlessly over to a fallen log and sat down. I didn't trust my legs to keep me standing.

I was so confused. What was a lie – his love or his repulsion? Was Edward toying with me – now _and_ then? Or could it be that there had been some hidden motive that caused him to make his hurtful decision to leave? Did he actually love me?

And, even if he did, would he hold it against me that I had used my Shield to push him away? I trembled to think that I might have driven him off in a way that wasn't just physical.

There was only one bit of knowledge that helped me withstand the storm of my tangled thoughts. For – despite all of the pain that he'd put me through – my love for Edward still remained with the same intensity it'd had when I had first met him.

Still, the indecision was tearing at me. I wanted to follow Edward more than anything, but could I? Would I be able to trust anyone after being betrayed so many times? _After all, the Cullens aren't the only ones responsible for my broken heart. . ._

_Flashback:_

_The forest-lined highway looked unusually bright as I drove down to La Push. Sunlight streamed through the trees, giving the cement an alien glow. _

_As I looked down the road, a shimmering object caught my attention. I leaned forward, trying to see what it was. For some reason, I felt anxious – a mixture of hope and dread forming a knot in my chest._

_Suddenly, a painful image began fighting its way to the forefront of my mind. Desperately, I tried to repress it, pushing against the doorway that held my unbearable memories at bay. I could feel the hole in my chest – just waiting to tear me apart – and I struggled even more urgently._

_Then, just when I thought I'd sealed it away, the image burst free, and I was instantly overwhelmed. The memory of _him_ in the meadow flooded my vision, making it difficult to focus on the road. He was right in front of me, his skin sparkling in the sunlight, his smile dazzling._

_Frantically, I reached for the radio, needing something to distract me as the pain shot through my body in waves. _

_Only – it wasn't there._

_Another memory – this time of me, tearing at the radio with my fingernails, desperate to remove any reminder of _them _– sent me crashing into a wave of despair._

_I began to hyperventilate, my breath coming in fast, panicked rasps. It was too much – too much to bear. The road became insignificant as I fought to escape the pain. Tears streaked down my cheeks, clouding my vision – I could no longer see where I was going. I knew that what I was doing was dangerous, but I couldn't make myself seem to care – how could the pain possibly get worse? What did it matter if something happened to me –? Suddenly, I froze as a voice pierced my thoughts. _

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid."

_His words rang with perfect clarity, shocking me into focus. _

_Taking advantage of my temporary control, I quickly pulled my truck to the side of the road and set it into park, taking the keys out of the ignition. I leaned my head back against the headrest, panting heavily. I just couldn't seem to pull in enough oxygen. It was as if there was a giant force pressing on my lungs from all sides, not allowing them to fill completely._

_I looked out the window when I heard the sound of an approaching car. As it passed, I saw the curious face of a young boy gazing back at me. I wondered what I looked like to him. _

_Then, it dawned on me that the boy was most likely from Forks – which would mean that Charlie would find out. More than anything, I want him to believe that I was recovering, even though I know that a full recovery is impossible._

_I looked ahead along the tree line and saw a break in the trees that was big enough to fit my truck. I estimated that I would be able to get it far enough in that it would be mostly out of sight._

_Trembling, I put the keys in the ignition and drove forwards, turning into the gap and pulling as far up as the trees would allow. Once the truck was in park, my arms immediately came up to wrap themselves around my chest. The memories were flooding back and my head spun in agony._

_Fumbling, I grabbed the door handle and slid out of the truck. I landed on my backside with a muffled thump, but quickly scrambled up and stumbled through the trees, tears streaming down my cheeks._

_I needed a distraction – something, anything. I just wasn't strong enough to wait out the pain._

_Branches scraped at my skin as I ran. Roots and divots in the ground caused me to trip often, but I always got up and pressed onwards. My heart was pounding and my breathing quickly became labored, but I didn't slow._

_I continued to run, my pace frantic and unsteady. My hands were scraped and my knees were bloody from all of the times I had fallen. Time seemed to slow down, but the forest gradually began to darken as the sun moved westward through the sky._

_My body was tiring; I was stumbling more frequently and it was getting harder and harder to get up again. Unwillingly, I started to slow as a strange sensation began to consume me; a numbness that devoured my body._

_My legs began to feel as though they were made of lead and it soon became impossible to continue running. I was forced to walk until; finally, I dropped to my knees and fell down on my stomach._

_As I lay there, the numbness began to spread from my body into my mind. The pain and sadness began to fade to nothing. I couldn't feel – I couldn't think._

_Time continued to pass, but I hardly noticed. Gradually, my strength returned, but I was relieved when the pain didn't. I realized that I'd ended up in the middle of a clearing. As I became more aware of my surroundings, it dawned on me that Jacob was bound to be worrying about my delay to La Push. If he finds out that I went missing, then it won't be long before he gathers the pack to find me. I didn't know if it would be better or worse if I waited for the werewolves to come. After all, Jacob was bound to be angry that I ran off by myself._

_As if on cue, I heard the softest whisper of sound as someone walking towards me. I struggled to sit upright, and then froze as I saw the outline. It was a woman with long, bushy hair; not one of the guys and definitely not Leah. I was surprised, I hadn't thought that I was anywhere near any trails where people could find me._

"_What a pleasant surprise! Just the person I was looking for!" the woman's voice chimed unexpectedly. My spine became stiff and ridged as my heart surged with pain. Her beautiful voice was only comparable to a vampire's; it was obvious that she wasn't human like me. But this woman's voice was unfamiliar, so I didn't see how she could recognize me._

_The female vampire must have seen my confusion as she said, "I suppose you haven't heard me speak before, but I'm sure you'll recognize me." And, with that, she stepped out of the shadows._

_My heart seemed to stop. I could feel my jaw open and shut as I gaped like a fish. The red hair, the cat-like stance, the viscous expression;_

Victoria.

"_See, I told you that you would remember me," she simpered, her eyes excited and filled with malice._

* * *

Sorry about not updating in a while. I was busy and admittedly had writer's block. Please, please, please review! I worked really hard to finish up this chapter and hopefully the next chapter (which is a continuation of this chapter) will come sooner.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Heartbreaking, right?

Bella's P.O.V.

_My body wouldn't move as I stared at her._

Victoria.

_And by the way that she was looking at me, I could tell that she intended to kill me._

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," _I heard _his_ voice order._ _Well, it was too late now, I thought to myself. Would it count that this wasn't really my fault? My thoughts were interrupted when Victoria spoke again._

_"Do you understand what your little lover did to me? He took away the most important person in my life. Do you know what that feels like?" I didn't respond. I didn't even move as I stared at her._

_"No. I don't think you would, and neither would your precious mate,"she continued, smiling viciously, "But don't worry; soon, he will understand. I'm going to kill you, and then he'll know the pain that I'm going through."_

_I didn't correct her; didn't bother to tell her that it had all been a cruel joke. Edward didn't love me. My death would mean nothing to him._

_Perhaps it was the fact that I actually _could_ understand her; if it weren't for the fact that I didn't blame Edward for leaving, I would do anything to make the void feel better. She just wanted to heal – was it really fair of me to deny her that?_

_I watched as she walked closer, her eager eyes belying her casual manner. My body had frozen up, and I felt like a frightened rabbit being stared down by a jungle cat._

_Victoria leaned forward into a crouch, her smile widening until she appeared to be bearing her teeth at me._

_For an instant, my body moved as though trying to get away, and then I saw Victoria disappear. Before I could realize what was happening, I felt a crushing blow strike me in the stomach. I flew backwards and landed hard on my back, the impact knocking the breath out of me._

_I clawed at the ground, struggling to move myself before she could attack again. But it was impossible for me to be fast enough – another blow hit the side of my ribcage, sending me flying. I landed on the ground with a loud thud, sticks and rocks jabbing into my back._

_My eyes shot open, but I was completely unable to move as I saw Victoria launch herself at me, fangs bared. I screamed reflexively, and then my voice suddenly cut off._

_Blood filled my mouth as I felt her fangs sink into my throat. My body thrashed; instinctively trying to free itself, but Victoria's iron hands held me in place. _This was the end.

_I lie there, helpless, as my seemingly inevitable death drew nearer. All of a sudden, a huge commotion came into the background. Feral snarls and barking filled the air, growing louder and louder. Suddenly, I felt myself being yanked forward by my throat and then, abruptly, I fell back down as Victoria's fangs released their hold._

_There was pain for an instant, and then my head slammed against the ground and everything went black._

* * *

_I was in the middle of a fire – but it didn't burn me. My body was enclosed in a glass case; the flames couldn't reach. Vaguely, I could hear the sounds of snarled barks and howls. And there was a voice – it was yelling desperately. _

_I wonder what it's saying?_

"_Bella!" Jacob was shouting, "Oh God, Bella, please open your eyes!"_

"_That's enough, Jacob," I heard Sam order sternly, "Stop shaking her. She's loosing too much blood and she's not even reacting to the venom. There's no way that she's going to make it."_

_Jacob let out an anguished howl. When the sound cut off, I noticed how eerily silent it was; Sam and Jake must be the only ones still here._

"_We need to go, that vampire is still on the loose. She must be destroyed before she can harm anyone else."_

"_I'll follow in a moment," Jacob agreed in a defeated whisper. I felt a faint shimmer in the air and then Sam was gone._

_Jake's voice came again in a whisper; "Bella. I swear I will avenge you. . . . You can be sure that tonight, your life won't be the only one to end."_

_And then, he too disappeared, and I was alone in the midst of the flames._

* * *

_It was dark and silent. I wondered if I was dead. I could almost believe it, until I heard a few faint whimpers. Leaves and twigs crackled softly, and my ears perked to listen. Wait – my ears?_

_A moment went by and I realized that I could feel my body. There was no pain, no flames – but I could feel my limbs resting on the ground. My skin tingled as I felt the air crackle with some sort of energy. Voices caught my attention and I silently tuned into the conversation._

"– _Should we bury them together?" _

Bury who?_ I wondered. I listened harder and heard the sound of somebody crying softy._

"_How are we going to explain this to Charlie?"_

Explain what?

"_Why did both of them have to die?!" somebody sobbed._

Both? Who?

_I opened my eyes to see that I was surrounded by trees. But, it was strange – everything was so clear. I pushed myself upright and stood quietly, looking around. The footsteps came closer and then I saw several boys emerge from the tree line, walking into the clearing._

_They seemed to spot me at the same time, and they all froze, their bodies becoming stiff and ridged._

"_She's alive?" somebody gasped, staring at me with wide eyes._

"_No," another person – who I saw was Sam – contradicted, his voice low, "She's not alive. That kind of _thing_ is not a living creature." __He growled. "Jacob's revenge was for nothing. He died for nothing."_

_I gasped, the truth shocking me; _Jake was dead._ My heart felt ridged and cold, and I looked to the werewolves for reassurance, but only cold eyes stared back at me._

"_You," Sam hissed, his body shaking uncontrollably, "His death was your fault!" He lunged, his body shifting mid-jump so that his heavy paws hit the ground. With a snarl, he leaped at me, his teeth glistening._

_I screamed, frightened and bewildered by the unexpected betrayal. Then, by some instinct – my body froze, and I watched the feral teeth come closer and closer._

_Suddenly, blue energy shot out from my body, shaping itself into a shell with me in the center. I jerked away from the wall of blue, but, to my surprise, it moved with me._

_Sam was still in mid-air, his furious eyes holding me hostage. He was so close that I could reach out and pet his short, black fur. I cringed, expecting the feel of his dagger-like teeth sinking into my skin._

_To my shock, his huge body slammed against the blue shield and he was rebounded away. The others, who were all in their wolf forms, let out worried whimpers as Sam picked himself up._

_I stood frozen as he circled around me, looking for a weakness in what was apparently _my_ Shield. I was scared; I had never seen any of the werewolves look so lethal, much less Sam. He lunged again, his fangs grating against the blue barrier, snarls ripping from his throat. His eyes were wild with pain and fury._

_His anger seemed to stimulate some of the others, and they rushed forward to help. More and more of them were attacking. Clawing, biting, slamming against my unfamiliar and untested protection._

Pain. Confusion. Betrayal. Fear. _I covered my face with my hands, but then I noticed that something was different. My skin was not as soft as I remembered. I looked at my hands. They were solid and white – like marble. Unhuman._

_I had become a vampire._

_It was overwhelming. Too much. I didn't know what to do. I had nobody to turn to._

_Growls and snarled roared in the background. I didn't know how to react._

_So I screamed. And screamed. And screamed. And screamed. I fell to the ground, curled up in a fetal position, and screamed._

_Because I could feel it – my heart shattering in the most brutal of ways. Fragments were jabbing at my mind and body. _

_There was only pain._

* * *

I broke out of my reverie with a jerk. The sky had darkened as I'd sat on the log, thinking. Abruptly, I stood, checking the area with sudden paranoia. My body was stiff and ridged as I looked, but relaxed slightly when I detected nothing.

Then, I stared at the ground again as I thought. I have no idea how long I stood there, thinking over my options. Finally, I came to a decision. In a flash, I started off, running swiftly through the trees.

_I was going to bet it all. I was going to give my heart to another, one last time. If things didn't work out . . . then that would be it; I would take my empty shell to the Volturi to be eliminated. There would be _no_ second chances – this time there was no way that enough of my heart would be intact to start over._

**pleasereviewpleasereviewpleasereviewpleasereviewpleasereviewpleasereviewpleasereviewpleasereviewpleasereviewpleasereviewpleasereviewpleasereviewpleasereview**

This took a while to write and I really worked hard to make it just right. Sorry about Jake, I have nothing against him, it just fit into the plot too good to pass up. Anyways, **please review! **I was rather disappointed by the number of reviews for chapter nine, considering the number of people who were begging me to write about how Bella was changed. Well, that and the fact that _over 100 people _have this story on their favorites/alerts.

Therefore, thank you; Olivia, sweetorbad, DarkAnubisAngel, emz-blondy, Dark Aura Azalea, haley, :), Elven at Heart, Darkness holds me tightly, ravenj84, CharmedMilliE, bubbz, SparklingTopazEyes, and JoseJalepenoOnASteek. Thanks for reviewing! (seriously, it isn't that hard to do)

Sorry about the rant, I was just really disappointed about the lack of reviews for the last chapter. Have some pity on me and review. Or review if you liked this chapter; whatever works. Hope you enjoyed! Again, sorry about the ranting!

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	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I was so afraid, but – in a way – I was utterly relieved. There would be no running away anymore, no indecision. I had made my choice.

I followed Edward's trail as it branched off from the rest of the Cullen's. It made me slightly suspicious, but I told myself that there was no reason to be paranoid; I was not turning back now.

As I continued to run, I was surprised; I hadn't expected Edward to go so far. Mile after mile flew by, but the path didn't stop. I began to wonder where I was going to end up.

Dashing silently through the trees, I started to contemplate what I should say. I wanted him to forgive me for panicking earlier, but there were just so many things I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him how much I missed him; how much I wanted to be with him; how much I loved him.

* * *

Gradually, I began to recognize my surroundings. The trees passed in dark shades of green; a product of the massive undergrowth. The plants were much taller than normal, reaching to just above my waist. Strangely, sunlight was evident, despite being filtered through the trees.

Apparently, Forks, Washington was enjoying one of its rare sunny days.

Surprisingly, a strong feeling of nostalgia was induced by the familiar scenery. I felt sad, but also strangely at home. This is where it had all began, and it was only fitting that this would be the place where I would, once more, gamble my heart for a chance at love.

Still, I couldn't help but worry, after all, some of the greatest tragedies in my . . . existence had occurred in this town. My heart had been utterly shattered numerous times, and each time I'd thought that I would never recover. But, this time, I was sure of it; I wouldn't pull through if things went wrong. So, why would Edward lead me here? He had to know that there was a chance that I would follow – right?

It was too confusing to mull over; was this a warning or a reassurance? What was the message that Edward was trying to send me?

The trail didn't lead into town, like I'd thought it might. Instead, it continued to twist through the woods, heading farther away from the little town. I had a nagging suspicion about where it would end up, but I didn't linger on the thought.

Slowly, I could see the trees start to thin out, allowing the sunlight to come in contact with the forgotten undergrowth. Suddenly, I was reminded of a conversation with Edward, decades ago;

_"Are me there yet?" I teased, pretending to scowl._

_"Nearly." He smiled at the change in my mood. "Do you see the brightness ahead?"_

_I peered into the thick forest, my human eyes not detecting any increase in the light. "Um, should I?"_

_He smirked. "Maybe it's a bit soon for _your_ eyes."_

My body trembled slightly, and I ducked to avoid a branch. Meanwhile, I scolded myself; I needed to be in control when I faced Edward. There was no reason that I should be panicking because of a memory.

Indeed, it was bright up ahead. I slowed to a walk, using my senses to test the surroundings. Edward's scent was far more recent and much stronger than before. I could also detect the sounds of a small creek up ahead, as well as the scent of a variety of wildflowers.

Despite my conviction, my feet began to slow. I started to feel nervous and unsure; all my reasoning was lost to the build-up years of pain and sadness. I moved cautiously, careful not to attract attention. Unconsciously, my body had shifted forward into a wary crouch; prepared to flee at the slightest provocation. I scolded myself severely, but, for some reason, my tense posture didn't relax.

As I continued forward, the meadow gradually came into view. I could see the flowers swaying gracefully in the breeze, the tall grass shimmering in the sun. Once again, I was awed by the beauty of the little field. Nonetheless, I scanned it carefully, a mixture of hopeful and nervous apprehension twisting in my stomach.

Then, I froze as I zeroed in on a figure lying motionlessly in the middle of the field. My chest seemed to swell as I took in the sight of his bronze hair blowing in the wind, his pale skin glistening in the sunlight. His beauty was both breathtaking and heartbreaking – how could it be possible for someone like him to ever love me? My sadness shook my resolve. What was I doing here? This whole thing was hopeless; any chance at happiness was beyond my reach. I shouldn't be here, wasting my time.

I hardly noticed that I had stopped, hovering near the border of the trees, hidden by the shadows. In my head, I debated whether or not I should continue.

I had almost convinced myself to head back when Edward moved for the first time. His head tilted back so that his eyes could settle on my face, and I froze.

"Please. Please, don't go." His golden eyes were duller, sadder, than I remembered. His musical voice was faint and anxious. I flinched and drew back as his words struck a cord within me. Memories of me, begging him to stay, flashed before my eyes, and I fought against the oncoming panic and confusion. It suddenly became difficult to differentiate reality from the painful illusions.

Edward's eyes flashed briefly before he turned his head away, freeing me from whatever spell I was under. For a moment, I backed away, crouching down in the brush. Then, when he made no further movement, I stopped. I watched him, weary, but he didn't stir.

Confusion clouded my thoughts. Why did he suddenly decide to ignore me? Despite my uncertainty, his inattention helped ease my apprehension. I was able to get a hold of myself.

After a prolonged moment, I scooted forward, inching closer to the edge of the forest. It seemed like a barrier, my protection from pain. Somehow, the idea of stepping clear of the brush was like leaving myself exposed. It was a leap that I wasn't sure I could make.

I stopped again and watched the wind play with Edward's hair, the sun shining brightly off his skin. He was so beautiful, so unreal. Suddenly, he sat up. I leaped back and watched him, my posture guarded. He ignored me, not even glancing in my direction, but I knew that he'd heard my movement. When I'd jumped, he'd frozen momentarily before proceeding to lean forward. Now, I watched in silence as he reached in front of him and picked a dandelion from amidst the grass. He spun it between his fingers, seeming to inspect the color and texture.

I felt embarrassed; I had made such a big fuss over him picking a flower. It seemed silly. Besides, he had never physically hurt me. There was no reason for me to be panicking.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."

My muscles tensed reflexively at the sound of his voice, but I managed to say in one place. Edward appeared to be talking to the flower, and the effect was odd. But, for some reason, I felt comforted. He wasn't staring at me. He wasn't making me do anything but listen.

"I don't know what to say," He paused. I watched him, waiting for him to continue. He seemed to be struggling for words, reminding me of the conflict in my thoughts earlier.

He sighed. "Nothing turned out the way I'd hoped. I wanted you to move on – to be safe and happy." My eyes widened for a moment before narrowing angrily. "I guess I underestimated your feelings. You couldn't move on . . . could you?"

He turned his head ever so slightly and glanced back at me. I ducked my head, hiding behind the curtain of my dark hair. I trembled, his words striking various emotions within me.

"No," I whispered softly.

He flinched slightly, but did not seem surprised by my response.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice grave and sincere. "I was wrong. Completely and utterly wrong. I wanted so much to make you safe that I didn't really factor in your emotions. I hurt you in the worst possible ways, and I don't see how you could ever forgive me."

He stared at the flower with anguished eyes. "I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every day. When I heard of your death. . . I fell apart. It was all my family could do to convince me not to go to the Volturi. Not to follow you. And it horrified me; the last thing I'd said to you was that I didn't love you. Such a lie!"

I stilled, surprised by the emotion in his voice. And not just that – I couldn't find it within me to believe him. I'd already concluded and accepted that he hadn't loved me while I was human. I'd been too weak, too fragile. What he was saying was incomprehensible, because it was impossible. He'd already admitted that he didn't love me _that way._ I didn't – couldn't – understand what he meant by a lie.

Meanwhile, Edward continued, "I'd thought that if I convinced you that I didn't love you anymore, you would move on with your life much sooner. I guess it shocked me that you believed me so easily. I thought it would be next to impossible! I lied, and it hurt you worse than anything else I could have done. All this time we could have been together. All this pain could have been avoided, because I'd lied to save you, and it didn't work."

I watched him as he began to shake, and I could practically see the nonexistent tears running down his face.

"All I can say now is that I love you. I've always loved you, and I'm sorry. Sorry for hurting you. Sorry for making you feel lonely and afraid. Sorry that I wasn't able to protect you from anything." His voice broke. "I didn't want this to happen; for you to be scared and wounded, terrified that I would harm you further."

He was still staring at the dandelion in his hand, his eyes agonized. He didn't look at me even once, and, for that, I was grateful. I wasn't sure what effect his golden eyes would have on me, especially with such strong emotions.

"I'm so sorry," he half-whimpered, "How can I even think to ask your forgiveness after what I've done to you?"

Suddenly, everything snapped into place. His voice. His manner. His eyes. His entire being. I truly remembered. Not the pain, but the love; the connection between us. He hadn't looked at me, hadn't done anything to make me feel threatened or afraid. He knew. All this time, he'd known me better than anyone else. He knew how I felt . . . and accepted it. He didn't try to push me, but allowed me to go at my own pace, despite his feelings.

Of course he wouldn't hurt me. Everything he'd done up until now had shown his love and understanding. I had no reason to be afraid, no reason to hesitate.

I loved him.

_No more fear!_

My stance changed. Gone were the trembling, uncertain steps. I glided forward, each step silent and graceful. Edward froze as he sensed me come nearer to where he sat.

The protective tree line that I'd stayed hidden behind was suddenly meaningless. I didn't need a shield. With Edward, I never had.

It was just one simple step out of the trees. One step into the light.

The sun glittered off my skin, creating mini-rainbows on the soft grass. I almost wanted to run – to close the distance between me and Edward. But, for some reason, I didn't. I stopped and kneeled down, so that I was right in front of him. I stared at his face. His expression was so cautious, so tormented, his body was stiff and ridged – I hated it. I didn't want him to feel that way.

And then I moved, and it felt so natural that I didn't even think about it. I reached forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my chin his shoulder. My hands shook for a moment, and then went still.

"Don't be sad," I whispered. He let out a shaky breath and I felt his hands touch my back lightly, as if to see if I were real. Then, he crushed me to him, all caution forgotten. I didn't resist – if anything, I held him tighter. Everything felt right, my heart – though it couldn't beat – felt whole. For once, I felt – happy. I luxuriated in the feeling.

I didn't want to let go, and, as the walls fell down between us, I could tell that he didn't want to either.

We were finally in perfect harmony.

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Yay! I finally finished this chapter! Anyways, this is an **important announcement:** I'm setting up a poll to see if you guys want me to go straight to the epilogue from here or write one more chapter where Bella rejoins the rest of the Cullens. Either way, I'm still writing the epilogue. Please _**vote** and **review**_, I'm not going to start writing until I get enough votes and reviews to make a decision!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Bella's P.O.V.

There wasn't any particular reason why I was being carried on Edward's back. I think we both knew that I could run on my own, but it didn't make any difference. In a way, it reminded me of what it felt like when I was human. I didn't want to let go of him – not even for an instant – and, by the way he'd held me close, I was pretty sure he didn't want to let me go either.

I hardly noticed our surroundings as Edward ran. Instead, I focused on him, becoming hyper-aware of the smallest details. The way his bronze hair blew in the wind, the sound of his breath; soft and even, never changing despite the distance we covered. His swift movements were comforting, lulling me into a daze. W_e're heading_ _home_.

Internally, I thrilled at the word. The only home I'd had up until now was my truck, but it was merely something to return to. I felt no glow of pleasure when I came back. There was no one to greet, no one to welcome me. With Edward, I could have a true home where somebody would care about me.

Now, I can finally live instead of existing as nothing more than a shell of my human self.

On impulse, I leaned forward and kissed Edward lightly on the back of the neck. He his head swung around to look back at me, his expression slightly startled. I grinned at him.

Overcoming his shock, he smiled back before turning his gaze back to the trail. Before I even realized what was happening, he dug his feet into the ground and leaped sharply to the left, narrowly avoiding a large tree. Instinctively, I clung to him so that I wouldn't fall off. But I my mind was stunned. There was _no way_ that could have happened.

He so did not almost run into a tree.

I looked over and saw that his expression flustered, almost bewildered that he could have done something so clumsy. And then I just couldn't help myself.

I laughed.

Edward's embarrassed expression quickly changed to surprise at the sound of my laughter. Clearly, he hadn't expected me to react this way. Even he could understand that laughter was a rarity for me. The night that Jacob had died, most of my ability to feel had died as well. But right now it felt _good_. I was laughing so hard that, if I were human, there would be tears in my eyes. For once, I felt real. Not a mannequin, but a creature that could think and feel. Such a strange sensation – but I _liked_ it. And then another voice joined mine.

It was far deeper in pitch, but just as beautiful. The sound of Edward's laughter mingling with my own took my breath away. His voice rang with joy and contentment, harmonizing perfectly with my own.

We continued to laugh for a long time, reveling in this foreign happiness. Once our mirth had finally dimmed, Edward set forth again. I had hardly realized that we'd stopped moving before.

As we got closer, my temporary feelings of bliss were overcome by nerves. Nothing seemed to stop the raging doubts that flooded my mind. Edward had accepted me, but would the others? Somehow, I couldn't be sure. I shifted on his back so that I could watch his expression. With an effort, I kept my voice from reflecting my nerves as I spoke.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"I-I" I cursed myself for stuttering. "I was wondering if the others were angry with me."

His eyes flashed, first with surprise and then incredulous. I winced at the expression on his face. _Oh boy._

He skidded abruptly to a stop.

"What?!"

I gulped and forced myself to continue.

"Are they angry because of how I've acted? I mean, I ran away from them without even trying to listen to what they had to say. Aren't they mad at me?" I asked, whispering the last part.

Edward's eyes calmed and he pulled me gently from his back, holding me by the tops of my arms like a toddler. He stared me directly in the eye, his expression stern, his voice daring me to argue.

"Of course they aren't angry with you. They all understand. You've been through a lot, so of course you were wary. They couldn't have possibly expected anything more from you. The way you reacted was entirely understandable."

His tone became softer. "Never doubt that we will always love you – no matter what. I'll make sure that you'll never have to feel alone or abandoned again."

"Promise?" I whispered, my voice soft and trembling with unshedable tears.

"I promise." He told me, his eyes genuine. Then, tentatively, he reached forward and stroked my cheek with his fingertips, being cautious not to startle me. Then, when I didn't move away, he leaned forward and kissed me lightly, reassuring me without using a single word. His hand moved to brush back my hair, stopping to rest against the back of my neck. But he made no move to hold me against him. He seemed to know that – in the back of my mind – I was still afraid. It wasn't possible to erase all those thoughts and feelings I'd had over the last few decades--the feelings of rejection; the fear of trusting affection.

It would take time to heal, but I _would_ heal, eventually.

Slowly, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, savoring the feeling.

"Thank you," I whispered. He smiled, his eyes glowing. Then, very reluctantly, he pulled away. My skin tingled as his fingers brushed my throat.

"We had better get going –" He grinned. "– because I _know_ that the others have been wanting to see you."

He waited as I climbed onto his back before taking off. I rested my chin on his shoulder, not really seeing the trees rushing past us. I didn't want to let go of this feeling. It was like finally getting to rest after a long race. I no longer need to tell myself that I had to hold on for just a little bit longer – just keep running for a little bit longer. The finish line was finally in sight, and I now had someone to guide me the rest of the way.

Nestled tightly against Edward's shoulder blade, I closed my eyes. The miles flew by almost imperceptibly. Gradually, I started to pick up the scents of the other Cullens as we entered their territory. For a moment, the scents--which I recognized from our earlier encounter--caused me to become tense. _Was I really ready for this?_

Feeling me stiffen on his back, Edward took my hand in his and lifted it to his lips, gently kissing the tip of each of my fingers.

"Don't be afraid," he whispered. And then, to my surprise, he began to hum a familiar tune.

_My lullaby._

As if on cue, I felt my body relax. And, although I couldn't sleep, I began to feel drowsy. Unconsciously, I snuggled against his neck, my eyes closing. Edward continued to hum, his voice filling my once-empty heart until I felt that it was going to burst. I intertwined my fingers with his and gave them a gentle squeeze. I could feel his chest vibrate as he hummed his beautiful, heartwarming tune for me. I wanted to thank him but I didn't know how, so I merely lay there on his back and listened without saying a word.

As we came into a clearing, a house suddenly came into view.

It was very much like the house in my memories; probably a century old and restored to perfection. A grapevine twisted around one of the stone pillars and crept along the trim of the roof. The front door was solid wood and I could see lacy white curtains through the window. It looked so warm and comforting. I'd forgotten what a real home looked like. I climbed down from Edward's back and moved to stand beside him. He smiled at me before looking at the house.

"We're home," he called out, his voice loud enough for any nearby vampires to hear. It was quiet for a moment and I felt a small wave of unease. Then the front door opened.

Alice came out first with Jasper in tow, smiling hugely. Jasper glanced at her as she pranced forward--her soft footsteps becoming a dance of delight--and rolled his eyes. But as I looked at him I realized that he was smiling too. Esme and Carlisle followed them out and I watched as Carlisle glanced between me and Edward. Edward grinned back at him and it dawned on me that Carlisle must have said something in his thoughts.

Esme's eyes lit up when she caught sight of me. Her joyous gasp of surprise caught Carlisle's attention and he turned his head to look at her. Seeing her delighted expression, he smiled and gave her an affectionate squeeze with one arm. Nothing registered in my mind when he kept it wrapped tightly around her waist.

I was surprised that Rosalie next one out the door and even more so when she offered me a tiny smile. I returned it, not quite used to this lack of hostility from her. After all, she had made a point of showing her distaste for me when I was human.

I expected Emmett to come out next, but several moments went by and the doorway remained empty. Yet, for some reason, I had a feeling that he was in there. Edward followed my gaze and squeezed my hand supporting. But I was confused; where was Emmett? Rosalie seemed to notice that he was missing and turned, walking back into the house. Nobody spoke, but, after a moment, I heard the whisper of two sets of feet walking towards the door.

Rosalie emerged first, walking out with a confident stride and moving to stand beside Carlisle. A few seconds later, Emmett appeared.

He stopped immediately after the door and didn't move, his eyes fixed on the ground. I stared at him, puzzled. This wasn't the Emmett I had known. He was usually loud and enthusiastic, not like this silent figure waiting by the doorway. I continued to watch him until he slowly looked up, meeting my gaze with his. I was surprised by the sorrow in his eyes and, when he smiled, the apology in his expression.

I took a step away from Edward. Emmett looked startled and his body stiffened.

"Emmett?"

"Bella." His smile was small and unsure.

My mind moved quickly, trying to add it all up. Tiny details were beginning to stand out. Alice didn't try to hug me. Carlisle kept his arm wrapped around Esme. Emmett acted timid and ashamed. Suddenly it all clicked into place.

They were doing exactly what Edward had done. They were being cautious in an effort to keep me from feeling trapped and panicked. A strange mix of gratitude and embarrassment flooded through me.

They cared.

It was hard to comprehend this fact after I'd spent so long rejecting such a notion. All I knew was that, at that moment, my face was lit up with a smile and I was suddenly darting forward. I grabbed Emmett by the arm and started pulling him towards Alice and Jasper, wanting to be with all of them at once. He was so surprised that he merely followed, a grin slowly beginning to build on his face. Overcoming his initial shock, he swooped forward and picked me up, pulling me into a crushing hug. I heard the sound of Alice's twinkling laughter before she pounced on us, her arms wrapping around my neck.

"Bella! It's so good to see you again!"

I hugged her tightly in response. I saw Jasper in the background, smiling wider than I've ever seen him smile before. To my surprise, he came forward and joined our little group, holding on to both me and Alice.

Happiness flooded through me. From behind me I heard Edward approach, his arms suddenly going around my waist as he buried his face in my hair. I moved my head so that it rested against his, feeling overwhelmed with joy. I closed my eyes for a moment, letting the emotions wash through me. When I opened them, I suddenly noticed that Carlisle was holding Esme up as her knees buckled out from under her. She turned her face into his chest and began to gasp helplessly. It was then that I realized that, were she still human, she would be crying.

As I listened, I could hear her whispering: "Oh, thank you. . thank you. . . my family!"

Carlisle looked up at me and smiled. At the same time, Edward leaned down and murmured in my ear, "She's fine. She's just so happy that she's a bit overwhelmed."

I relaxed, relieved. All of these different sensations at once were beginning to make me feel overwhelmed as well. I wasn't used to caring for anyone other than myself. I wasn't used to this foreign feeling of joy. I wasn't used to not feeling an aching pain in my chest at such a touching scene.

"I missed you. All of you." I whispered.

Emmett snorted. "Well of course you did! What's not to miss?"

I looked up, startled for a moment by his casualness, before grinning. "Hmm. You're right. It was_ so_ horrible having no one to make fun of me every time I tripped."

I saw Rosalie roll her eyes before she leaned in to give me a hug.

"Welcome back." She whispered. Her voice was so soft that even my enhanced hearing could hardly decipher the words. I blinked, surprised by the acceptance in her voice. A bit akwardly, I hugged her back.

"Thank you," I said softly. She smiled before turning away and tugging on Emmett's arm.

"Come on! You promised that we would go out today!"

He looked at her, caught off guard, before quickly pulling away from us, giving me an apologetic grin. With a quick salute, he ran off after Rosalie, who had already disappeared towards the cars by the side of the house.

Alice pulled away to look at me expectantly. "Speaking of going out, how about we go shopping? From the looks of things, you could really use some new clothes."

She eyed my worn shirt and pants disapprovingly, and I couldn't help but laugh at her expression.

_How is it that all of this happens so naturally? Why do I suddenly feel like they had never been gone? What is it that allows me to feel so happy--so alive?_ I couldn't seem to bring myself to care about all these answers. For now, I was happy. How could I ask for anything more?

* * *

I'm sorry that it took so long to write this chapter! I've been unbelievably busy! Also, the results from the poll are in and I WILL be writing an epilogue! Now that all of that is out of the way, please write a review for this chapter! I have the epilogue planned out, but I really need motivation to get writing! It'll be written sooner if you review!


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